Little Big Girl
Couch gag: The Simpsons are paper dolls being clothed.
Director: Raymond Persi
Natalie Portman as Darcy
Synopsis: Bart meets a pregnant teenager and flees to Utah to marry her. Meanwhile, Lisa fakes her heritage for a school assignment.
Discussion: Yes, well… I’m running out of euphemisms for “this is a shit episode“. It’s not that it’s stupid, just really uninteresting and it could have been sooo much better! OK, you have to ignore that Bart is only 10 and “really looking forward to being a dad”, but throw in a pregnant teenager who wants to marry Bart to escape the shame of her parents and you have yourself the potential for a really good ep.
So where did it go wrong? Giving Bart a driving licence is probably the first step. We’ve seen it before, when he took Milhouse, Martin and Nelson on a road trip. This time he’s off to North Haverbrook (with no sign of the monorail), where he meets a teenager named Darcy, who reveals she’s pregnant. Despite making out with her while holding hands, Bart’s not the father. This has the potential for so many great storylines: Simpsons road trip to Utah to get them, Darcy’s parents having a son whom Lisa falls for, Darcy pressuring Bart into making a sibling for her unborn baby (hey, she thinks Norwegia is a country), Darcy and Bart actually getting married (although of course it would be annulled)… But in the end, it’s just not very interesting.
Lisa’s making up Native American heritage is even more uninteresting. She’s lied on assignments before, why did she think she could pull this one off? Again, so many potential storylines: Grampa revealing something unexpected and interesting about their heritage (maybe he was from Norwegia?), the Simpsons are illegal immigrants, Grampa’s great great great whatever grandfather was Lincoln… As it stands, this subplot is not only boring, it’s completely illogical and stupid, although I did like Lisa’s costume made from the kitchen curtains.
So much potential, so much stupid.