I watch, and blog, and watch and blog and watch. It's the Simpsons every day!

Archive for November, 2014

You call that a testicle kick?

Covercraft

couch gag: The family wander in, all looking at their cell phones and walk into each other.

Director: Steven Dean Moore

Guest Voices:
Sammy Hagar as himself
Will Forte as King Toot

Synopsis: Homer, Apu, Dr Hibbert, Kirk and Rev Lovejoy form a cover band but Apu is offered the chance to tour with a famous rock group.

Discussion: I’m glad there was one reference to the Be Sharps, but if you blink, you’ll miss it. Otherwise, it seems like everyone has forgotten about Homer’s previous two bands: The Be Sharps and Sadgasm.

So why does this episode suck?

Firstly, it contributes nothing to the continuity of The Simpsons, mainly because everyone has forgotten that Homer is a singer. Secondly, there is no point whatsoever to the episode: Homer and some dads form a band and then ruin Apu’s chance at worldwide fame and fortune. Except, it’s done as an afterthought because someone clearly thought another band ep was a good idea, but had nowhere to go with it. There’s a minute where Homer refers to everyone as Yoko, but that’s about the extent of the conflict. I’m pretty sure my unborn child can think of a better narrative to this ep.

What if Homer became the famous lead singer? Sure, it’d be a flashback to his good old days travelling with Lollapalooza, but at least there’s some point to it. The characters here are mindlessly wandering around explaining things to the (bored) audience while putting very little effort into anything they do (much like last week’s pathetic ‘Blazed and Confused’).

There is nothing remotely memorable about this episode. I take notes, and write down possible quotes to use as blog titles. My page is blank except for the title of the blog (i.e. the only interesting quote in the entire ep) and what happened in the couch gag (equally unmemorable).

It’s totally pointless episodes like this one that make me mourn the good old days. I would even prefer to hear some more Sadgasm than be subjected to this shit again. It’s beyond shit. It’s the bacteria that feed off shit.

Seriously people, I beg you. Kill The Simpsons. It’s so far beyond embarrassing now.

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It doesn’t make me pee my pants

Blazed and Confused

Couch gag: The couch is a chair lift. The family return, everyone’s injured except Maggie.

Director: Rob Oliver

Guest Voices:
Willem Dafoe as Jack Lassen
Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob

Synopsis: Bart has a new teacher and vows to make his life hell.

Discussion: Welcome to another steaming pile of excrement from The Simpsons. I don’t know how low they can possibly go with this show, but this comes pretty close. My major problem with this episode is the high levels of exposition, where every character explains to the audience exactly what is going on, just in case you’re blazed and confused yourself.

Apart from that, the other problems contained within the episode are the terrible writing, awful execution and complete lack of coherence. Are the writers having some sort of competition to see just how bad they can get each episode?

Let’s start at the beginning. Bart’s class gets a new teacher. It’s a brilliant idea since the late, great Marcia Wallace left us over a year ago. Cue someone with an instantly recognisable voice and matching personality: Willem Dafoe. His voice work can be incredible e.g. Finding Nemo. Here, he’s given stupid lines and practically no screen time during the entire second half of the show bar a few moments at the end where he inexplicably meets up with Sideshow Bob. OK, so bringing in a fantastic actor as a new teacher is a great idea. The execution sucks hairy monkey balls. This is a brilliant opportunity for Bart to pull out the big guns and play every prank on this newbie, yet all he can come up with is a literal skeleton in the closet. Bart then goes on to explain all the minute details of his upcoming plans to the viewer, because apparently we’re brain dead children who can’t read Flame Retardant on the side of a canister.

Then there’s some shit about Homer forgetting to make a camping reservation, Marge drinking some weird tea (I can only speculate the writers were drinking the same tea when writing this episode) and Lisa hanging out with desert weirdos (including a cameo by David Silverman- did they bribe him to come back to this shadow of a show?). Bart’s grand plan, predictable from the start, works a charm and no one cares. Boo frigging hoo.

It’s poorly done episodes like this that I want to see fan fiction made. You’ve got a good, solid premise with nothing to back it up. I bet fans of the show (if there are any left) can come up with some wickedly funny scripts that bust this shit out of the water. How about allowing fans to write for the show? You know it makes sense.

My ass is about to project something

Simpsorama

Couch gag: The Simpsons sit on the couch, which turns out to be Hedonismbot.

Director: Bob Anderson

Gust Voices:
John DiMaggio as Bender
David Herman as Scruffy the janitor
Maurice LaMarche as Hedonismbot, Lrr, Mobo
Phil LaMarr as Hermes Conrad
Katey Sagal as Leela
Lauren Tom as Amy
Frank Welker as Nibbler
Billy West as Fry, Professor Farnsworth, Dr Zoidberg

Synopsis: Milhouse’s lucky rabbit foot plus Bart’s germs mutate into killer rabbits 1000 years into the future. Bender is sent back to kill Homer, as the killer rabbits share his DNA.

Discussion: Yes folks, you read that right: Bender is sent back to kill Homer because his DNA was found in killer rabbits terrorising New New York a thousand years in the future.

And so begins a pointless plot to smoosh together two shows which should have died years ago. Oh wait, Futurama is dead. Unfortunately it’s been brought back to life one more time. It’s not as bad as the Family Guy crossover but it’s still pretty bad.

Last night I watched a new episode of The Big Bang Theory, the one where the girls get drunk in Vegas and the boys get distracted by everything. There we have a perfect example of a show being funny despite having no plot whatsoever. This crossover episode, in fact every Simpsons ep since 2003, has lacked this simple task. Nothing’s funny as well as having no discernible plot. There are a few jokes in this ep but they are stretched so far that they may as well be on the event horizon of a black hole. Killer rabbits? Really?

It just seems like an excuse to shove every Futurama character in Springfield and some lame excuse to get them there. The last bit with Kang and Kodos going to Lrr’s place for dinner might have raised a smile but the whole segment feels like filler (if one can fill a black hole) and dies in the execution (no pun intended).

In all, it’s just another piece of crap in the excrement of The Simpsons which adds nothing to either canon. Killer rabbits? Seriously?

Fracking is one of those scary Lisa words

Opposites A-Frack

Director: Matthew Nastuk

Guest Voices:
Jane Fonda as Maxine
Rpbert Siegel as himself

Synopsis: Mr Burns falls in love with a woman who is trying to stop his fracking ambitions.

Discussion: An admission: I giggled twice during this episode. Once at the fiery Slip n Slide and once with the racy texts over some ancient ticker tape machine.

As for the rest of the ep, what the dickens did I just watch? Mr Burns has fallen in love and lust before, with much funnier results. This ep is a mish mash of old plots rehashed and reheated into a pile of steaming excrement and watched by just 4 million US viewers. There’s no couch gag, which immediately lowers expectations: there’s a precedent here that the couch gag is often the most enjoyable part of any given recent episode. Patty and Selma (sans Lily) fill up the first five minutes until the main story starts. And then there’s some confusing garbage about pros and cons of fracking while Mr Burns and whats-her-face carry on a love/hate relationship, ending with the world’s most boring bedroom scene. Here’s an example:

Mr Burns: What kind of dog did your sister have?
Instantly forgettable female star: I don’t know.

Wow. It’s genius. It takes some special talent to write utter bullshit like that.

There are glimmers of goodness in this episode, but ultimately no one cares, and I’m surprised people sat through the whole thing (me included). The glimmers, unfortunately, are only glimmers of a once-great show and lead nowhere. I shake my fists at the television because I know what they’re trying to say… but it falls flat every single time. There was a Fracking Day sign a la Whacking Day… but without the song. We all know the way to sway Springfielders is through song.

Yet another disappointing ep from the show that just won’t die.

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