Treehouse of Horror XXV
Director: Matthew Faughnan
John Ratzenburger as CGI Homer
Synopsis: Bart and Lisa attend school in Hell; Moe runs a gang and the Simpsons meet their former selves
Discussion: What the actual hell?? The past few ‘Treehouse of Horrors’ have been half decent and watchable but this year we’re presented with some half-arsed conceptual crap that may have sounded good in the writers’ heads but did not translate well on screen.
School of Hell sees Bart and Lisa transported to Hell, where they attend school and Bart actually wants to learn things. It sounds like a good idea but is so poorly executed (‘scuse the pun) that the segment is barely worth watching. Actually I only watched it for posterity.
A Clockwork Yellow has Moe as the leader of a gang which disbands once Homer leaves to marry Marge. I think Comic Book Guy says it best when he utters, “Even I forget what this is a reference to”. It was probably the most lamest of all lame parodies I have ever seen. The only thing I half smiled at was a reference to Kubrick wanting to re-shoot the sequence.
The Others has the original Simpson family (from the Tracy Ullman Show) “haunting” the house of the present-day Simpsons. I was hoping for some original content, as in funny stuff the “old” family did or said and a self-reference from the new family about how great the old days were and how funny they were back then… But no. New Homer falls for Old Marge and somehow they all die and become ghosts. What? The Simpsons as characters from other shows/movies was mildly interesting (especially as the minions from Despicable Me) but there’s really nothing to offer in this segment.
If I had to give a rating, I’d rate it half a star out of 5. It sucked more than my Dyson.
The Boys of Bummer
Couch gag: The Simpsons are playing musical chairs and Homer is left out when the music stops.
Director: Rob Oliver
Synopsis: Everyone in Springfield hates Bart because he dropped the ball in the baseball final. Meanwhile, Homer gets a job selling mattresses but ends up in a fight over his own mattress (yes, you read that correctly).
Discussion: I’m always sad when I see a really sucky Simpsons episode. Not just because the glory days are long behind us, not because I’ve wasted a whole 22 minutes of my life that I’m never getting back, but because a lot of people put effort into this piece of crap and no one told them they’re wasting everyone’s time.
Everyone hates Bart. This would be a perfect opportunity to bring back the Bart Simpson we know and love to win people over. Have him Do the Bartman in the town square. A thousand hours of community service where he has to bring fun into people’s lives and remind them that sport is a gigantic waste of time and money (remember the bit where I’m not a sports fan?) But no. The viewers and the town are subjected to a do-over of the fateful game where Bart dropped the ball, with various unfunny mishaps ensuring Bart still doesn’t catch the ball, and then reminiscing with Milhouse sixty years in the future about the one catch in the do-over game that NO ONE CARES ABOUT. Somebody, anybody, please scrape out my eyeballs with a rusty spoon!
The subplot is one of the worst plots ever. Homer is a mattress salesman, which turns out fine until Reverend and Mrs Lovejoy don’t love their bed and start making whoopee on Homer and Marge’s mattress, starting this bizarre bed war so the two couples can get their freak on. WHAT THE HELL? Who thought up this lame excuse for plot filler? Let’s cut up the Simpsons’ mattress and have them fight for it, ending with Homer and Marge gettin’ jiggy wit it behind a billboard while a hobo looks on.
The episode wasn’t a complete waste of time. There were some very good one liners uttered by various characters and KBBL’s Bart Simpson Sux marathon was entertaining for the 30 seconds we saw it. It’s still not good enough to save the episode nor a reason to watch this train wreck.
Kill Gil Volumes I & II
Frankincense is not a monster
Couch gag: The Simpsons are in a bauble on a Christmas tree, while the animals are lying in front of a fireplace.
Director: Bob Anderson
Elvis Stojko as himself
Synopsis: After losing his job on Christmas Eve, Gil moves in with the Simpsons.
Discussion: This insanely stupid episode is right up there with the very worst of the entire series. There is exactly one highlight: the unique opening sequence in which the town in covered with Christmas snow.
I take notes during the show, things I want to mention and lines for potential use as blog titles. I have exactly two of those lines written down, and neither deserves special mention. The title of this post was very nearly “What the fuck did I just watch?” The picture included in this post is from the very end of the episode just to prove I watched the entire 20 minutes without stabbing my eyes out with a pen (there’s a reason I don’t keep forks in my room, you know).
Nothing in this ep makes sense, except for Marge feeling sorry for Gil on Christmas Eve when he sells a toy to Lisa which was meant for the boss’ daughter. That part makes sense. The Grumple stalking Homer throughout the year and Gil suddenly getting a job that he’s been waiting for, does not make sense. Gil is not an interesting character to begin with, and him mooching off the family for 11.5 months is equally uninteresting. Marge not being able to say NO to him is the most pointless plotline in the history of the series.
Don’t watch this episode. Just don’t.
G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)
We are not all naked under our clothes
Couch gag: The Simpsons’ couch is a on a conveyor belt and the family go through a car wash.
Director: Nancy Kruse
Kiefer Sutherland as the Colonel
Maurice LaMarche as Assistant Colonel
Synopsis: Homer joins the Army.
Discussion: You’d think that Homer joining the army would be hilarious, yet here I am wondering what the hell I’ve just done in the past 20 minutes. What should have been a witty and biting satire on the US Army and their exploits is actually a Colonel with silly ideas and Homer hiding from them. Nothing happens in this episode except for a mildly amusing Looney Tunes-style chase involving Homer and a drone helicopter but even that is lame and not obvious until the very end of the sequence.
This episode is so far below average, it can’t see average with a telescope. Easily one of the dumbest episodes in the entire series: it’s pointless, unfunny and a complete waste of time. Kiefer Sutherland is a highlight, as always, but I imagine he was raising his eyebrows when he was handed his lines.
Million Dollar Abie
I will not flip the classroom upside down (The classroom is upside down)
Couch gag: A menu screen pops up and “delete recording” is chosen
Director: Steven Dean Moore
Rob Reiner as himself
Michael Carrington as Jock Centre Host #2
Synopsis: Grampa considers euthanasia when everyone in town hates him, and then becomes a bullfighter when the assisted suicide doesn’t go to plan.
Discussion: Yes, dear reader, you read that sentence correctly: Abe Simpsons considers euthanasia and then becomes a bullfighter.
I don’t even know how this monstrosity gets there- something about a new football team, Grampa capturing someone he thinks is a burglar and, next thing you know, he’s hooked up to the Die-Pod. WTF? Seriously, WTF? You know the episode is garbage when I have three lines written down for possible blog titles and “Can we bring outside food?” is the best one.
There is absolutely nothing good to say about this episode. I want to wash my eyes out and pretend I never saw it (I will keep the memory of seeing it, just so I remember never to watch it again).
Episodes like this have me wondering how they ever get on screen. Does no one realise that the episode is utter rubbish? At what point does someone read the script, look at the storyboard and OK the project to move ahead? Does it give them nightmares? Are they tempted to hook the show to the Die-Pod and finally kill it off? How do episodes this bad ever see the light of day?
See Homer Run
Couch gag: The Simpsons, on their couch, are under a dome marked Earth Family and are viewed by aliens on Kang and Kodos’ home planet.
Director: Nancy Kruse
Synopsis: Homer runs for mayor to win back Lisa’s affection.
Discussion: This episode is beyond eye-stabbingly awful, it’s downright embarrassing for both viewer and everyone associated with the show. Homer spends most of the episode dressed as a salamander… ’nuff said.
Lisa shouldn’t be surprised that Homer doesn’t like her handmade present for Father’s Day, but instead of another Lisa-and-Homer-bonding episode, Homer decides to become Safety Salamander at her school and then runs for mayor. What? It was 15 minutes into the episode before that even happened! And somewhere in the middle, Bart stole a street sign… but that was very quickly forgotten even though there could have been a decent subplot to save this episode.
Who am I kidding? The only thing that could have saved the episode would be if the Simpsons were cancelled four seasons prior.
Lowlights include: having no discernible plot, Homer laying tennis balls inside his salamander suit, a chicken nesting inside his salamander tail, everyone running for mayor and the crowd cheering Homer as a salamander but ignoring him as Homer.
This is easily in the top 5 worst episodes thus far. Was Matt Groening in a coma when this went into production?